Bo Burnham《Welcome to the Internet》[FLAC/MP3-320K]百度云盘下载

Welcome to the Internet! Have a look around

Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found

任何你的大脑能想出来的这里已经有了

We've got mountains of content—some better, some worse

我们有成山的内容——虽然良莠不齐

If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first

一点都不感兴趣的人我还没见过呢

Welcome to the Internet! Come and take a seat

欢迎来到互联网！请尽快入座

Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?

你是想看新闻还是女明星的脚？

There's no need to panic; this isn't a test, haha

请不要慌；这又不是考试，哈哈

Just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest

你只用点头或者摇头，剩下的我们帮你办妥

Welcome to thе Internet! What would you prefеr?

欢迎来到互联网！你倾向于什么呢？

Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?

你比较喜欢争取民权还是发种族主义蔑称呢？

Be happy! Be horny! Be bursting with rage!

开心吧！饥渴吧！怒火中烧吧！

We've got a million different ways to engage

我们有无数种不同的方法让你参与其中

Welcome to the Internet! Put your cares aside

欢迎来到互联网！你无需顾忌

Here's a tip for straining pasta; here's a nine-year-old who died

你能学到滤干意面的小贴士；对了，这个九岁小孩死了

We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports

我们有电影和医生和梦幻球赛

And a bunch of colored-pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter ****ing each other

还有一大堆哈利波特里的所有角色为爱鼓掌的彩铅画

Welcome to the Internet! Hold on to your socks

欢迎来到互联网！小心别吓得袜子都飞掉

'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his ****

因为这个陌生男人刚才慷慨地给你发了几张他的迪克照

They are grainy and off-putting; he just sent you more

照片画质感人令人作呕；他刚刚又发了几张

Don't act surprised—you know you like it, you whore

干嘛那么惊讶——可别装清纯了你这绿茶

See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink

观赏斩首，深感冒犯，看心理医生去

Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think

给我们看看你的孩子，告诉我们你的每一个想法

Start a rumor, buy a broom, or send a death threat to a boomer

造个谣呀，买把扫帚呀，或给一个中老年人发个死亡威胁呀

Or DM a girl and groom her; do a Zoom or find a tumor in your—

要不然私信一个未成年女孩诱骗她；开个视频会议或发现你原来有颗肿瘤——

Here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom

教你一道健康早餐，对了你该杀了你的妈妈

Here's why women never **** you, here's how you can build a bomb

这是没有女人愿意艹你的原因，这是手工炸弹的做法

Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz

做做看这个小测试，看看你是哪个超能战士？

Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids

奥巴马派了移民来给你的孩子打疫苗

Could I interest you in everything all of the time?

我能不能让你一直被一切吸引？

A little bit of everything all of the time

一直来一点一切

Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime

冷漠是悲剧，无聊是罪孽

Anything and everything all of the time

一直给你一切万物

Could I interest you in everything all of the time?

我能不能让你一直被一切吸引？

A little bit of everything all of the time

一直来一点一切

Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime

冷漠是悲剧，无聊是罪孽

Anything and everything all of the time

一直给你一切万物

You know, it wasn't always like this

其实这里以前不是这样的

Not very long ago, just before your time

并非很久以前，离你诞生没多久

Right before the towers fell, circa '99

就在双子塔倒塌前，99年前后

This was catalogs, travel blogs, a chatroom or two

这里曾经是商品目录，旅游博客，一两个聊天室

We set our sights and spent our nights waiting for you!

我们定好目标全心全意等待着你！

You, insatiable you

你啊，贪得无厌的你啊

Mommy let you use her iPad; you were barely two

妈妈让你用她的iPad；那时你都不到两岁

And it did all the things we designed it to do

我们的设计让它完美地发挥功能

Now, look at you! Oh, look at you!

瞧瞧你现在！噢，看看你变成什么样了！

You, you! Unstoppable, watchable

你啊，你啊！不可遏止，供人观赏

Your time is now, your inside's out, honey, how you grew

这是你的时代，你的内心都暴露在外，宝贝你长得可真快

And if we stick together, who knows what we'll do?

只要我们团结起来，谁知道我们能实现什么呢？

It was always the plan to put the world in your hand

我们一直都计划着把整个世界放在你的手心

(*Laughing hysterically*)

（狂笑）

Could I interest you in everything all of the time?

我能不能让你一直被一切吸引？

A bit of everything all of the time

一直一点一切

Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime

冷漠是悲剧，无聊是罪孽

Anything and everything all of the time

一直给你一切万物

Could I interest you in everything all of the time?

我能不能让你一直被一切吸引？

A little bit of everything all of the time

一直来一点一切

Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime

冷漠是悲剧，无聊是罪孽

Anything and everything and anything and everything

一切万物所有全部

And anything and everything and

一切万物

All of the time

一直下去

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